Boyfriend Rules (... and my secret crush on Brian Austin Green)

Who has read this list of boyfriend rules written by a couple of wise-beyond-their-years grade schoolers?  Cute, right?  So, in following my tradition (Is it a tradition if I've only done it once before?) of sappy Valentine's Day posts, I thought I'd see how my own Valentine measures up.

Disclaimer: This is a pretty intense list.  I think I'd give any score over 20/30 a hard pass.

1.  Nice Handwriting - Well, it's more legible than my own handwriting, so I think I'll give him the point there.  +1

2.  Cuteness - Ummm.... Obviously, Corey is is SUPER-Cute!  We're off to a good start!  +1

3.  Likes Parents - I assume these girls mean that Corey needs to get along with my family. (Obviously he likes his own parents.)  Considering the fact that Corey may just be my mom's favourite child, I think we'll give him the point.  +1

4.  Not Living with Parents - Hmmm...This one is trickier.  Obviously, he's not living with his dad at this point... but he was still living at home when we met.  At the same time, he was still 18 at the time, so I think it's pretty normal.  I didn't really qualify whether I was rating Corey now or when we first met.  Let's give him a half point.  +.5

5.  Good Manners - I'd say overall, they're pretty good.  Sometimes he keeps his headphones in his ears while we're talking or comments a little too loudly on what someone nearby is doing but these are minor... And I am almost certainly guilty of worse transgressions.  +1

6.  Good Artist  - I don't think Corey can draw at all.  He can make good diagrams on Corel Draw, but it's not the same thing. +0

7.  Dresses Well - This one is tricky too.  My friends know that I was not the biggest fan of the way Corey dressed.  This, combined with our age difference, led to friends (good-naturedly) comparing him to David Silver from Bev Hills 90210.  But just as David Silver grew into hunky Brian Austin Green,  Corey eventually ditched the earrings, hats and chains and began dressing like an adult.  +1

8.  Takes Y'All to Nice Places - Hmmm... Well, these days, "nice places" probably include Lowes and Home Depot, but I'll give him the point.  +1

9.  Nice Place - Nope.  Corey lives in a total dump... but it's OUR dump new/old house and we love it!  Besides, it's getting nicer every day.  +.5

10.  Likes Children / Wants Children - OMG, dude wants him some kids!  When we visited our friend in the hospital after her daughter was born, I was a little worried Corey would want to just take her home! (The baby, not our friend. :P) +2

11.  Nice Jewelry - Do they mean his jewelry or mine?  Ugh.  When I met Corey, he wore heavy chains around his neck... not exactly my favourite look.  Although he did choose a lovely engagement ring for me... +1

12.  Listens - Always.  +1

13.  Don't Pick Your Nose - If he does, his manners (see point #5) are good enough to hide it from me.  +1

14.  No Kissing on First Date - I may be partially at fault for this, but there was definitely a fair bit of kissing on our first date! Cooties be damned!   -2

15.  Marry Someone Who Respects You - Of course! +1

16.  Smart - Very!  Corey's one of the smartest people I know.  +1

17.  Good Cook - I do most of the cooking, but Corey makes amazing poached eggs! +1

18.  Has a Good Job - He's still in his apprenticeship, but eventually, Corey will make an amazing electrician! +1

19.  Always Happy - Corey's a pretty happy guy.  He can be moody at times but I call it "the grumps" and feel his glands as if I were checking for the mumps.  Hilarious.  He may still have the grumps but the joke always makes me feel better! +1

20.  Clean - Neither of us is great, but Corey's a better cleaner than I am for sure!  If these girls are referring to personal hygene, he's also pretty good.  In fact, after he showers, Corey will often chase me around the house singing a song he made up with the following lyrics "I am so clean.  Cleaner than YOU..." +1 ... but -.5 for gloating!

21.  Respects Different Religions - Corey's very open-minded and respectful of other cultures!  In fact, I'm Catholic and Corey's Jewish and he always celebrates Christmas with me.  Bonus half point because he says he'll dress up as Santa for our kids. +1.5

22.  Last Name Not Weird - Brown is definitely not a weird last name.  I do think colour last names make it difficult to name your kids, because noun-names (like flowers, gemstones etc.) sound awkward.  On a side note, when I was a pre-teen in the 90's (and Corey was probably learning to walk) I remember reading that Tiffany Amber Thiessen got a green heart tattoo for her boyfriend at the time... Brian Austin Green!  (Hmmm... Does this quiz just reveal my secret crush on Brian Austin Green?) Crazy how this thing came full circle, right?  Anyway, my younger self thought the idea was so cool and clever that I vowed to get a heart tattoo in a colour if I ever married a man with a colour last name.  My adult self has thought better of the plan, but isn't it funny that I had that little premonition 20-ish years ago? +1

23.  Very Fun - Corey is so much fun!  We probably laugh and joke together more than we do anything else.  He lets me practice silly voices and we have inside jokes about everything!  I'm pretty proud of the fact that we're so ridiculous that we'd be ashamed if anyone else ever saw us when we're alone. +1

24.  Makes You Laugh - All the freakin' time! +1

25.  Eats Healthy - Are Eggo Waffles healthy?  Probably not.  -1

26.  Takes Care of Body - Wait... How do these kids know about man-scaping???  Just kidding... Mom, don't look that up!  I'm serious, mom... please don't!  On a serious note, Corey's pretty fit. +1

27.  Doesn't Tattle-Tale - Except for one incident at the dump when Corey was a little too honest, he would never ever ever rate me out and has promised to take my secrets to the grave.  (A disgruntled city worker yelled at me for taking pictures on my blog and asked me to delete them... I obviously pretended to delete them but Corey grabbed the phone to make sure I had done it correctly.... Man, was I ever mad!) +1

28.  Brushes Teeth and Flosses - Meh... He does the first pretty well and the second about as well as most people.  I'm giving him the point. +1

29.  Likes YOUR Job - He loves it and is more supportive than you would imagine! +2

30.  Takes Care of Pet - Oh yes!  Corey and Barkley are best buds.  Sometimes I come home to the two of them napping in bed together! +1

So if my calculations are correct, this gives Corey a score of 26 on this super-scientific scoring system!  Considering I said 20 was a hard pass before I even scored this little quiz, I'd say a 26 is outstanding.  Yay Corey!  You get a gold star!

And just in case you missed it in my last post, this video makes me weep each time I watch it!

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