Before I even get started here, I'm going to confess that I realize that it is silly and vain of me to whine about not looking the way I want on my wedding day when Corey and I were lucky enough to plan a baby (and actually conceive) exactly when we wanted. We both know that just being able to conceive what appears to be a healthy baby without any trouble makes us some of the luckiest people on earth. We know it! Silly as it is though, I'm going to be honest about how I've been feeling.
So after months of vomiting non-stop and basically feeling utterly wretched, my pregnancy fog lifted last Friday when I finally began to feel like my old self. Boy, I did not expect a post about my wedding dress to begin with a sentence about vomiting, but that's life. For me, the magic number seemed to be 16 weeks, which was a huge relief since I was beginning to worry that I may be one of those women who just had a terrible pregnancy up until delivery. Nope, while I didn't feel instantly better as I entered my second trimester as I had hoped, week 16 did bring instantaneous relief! Woo Hoo! Now I can focus on enjoying my pregnancy and getting married!
I've spent months feeling awful and depressed and debating whether I should just call the whole thing off, and now here I am with two months until my wedding and a million things to do... including having a dress made.
I am lucky to have an amazing dressmaker who has been both excited about my pregnancy and understanding about the need to do most of the work last-minute. She phrased it more delicately, but I think she needed to see where I would pack on the baby weight. My mother surprised me by insisting on bankrolling the dress and telling me not to cut corners and choose a dress style that made me feel beautiful.
Then came the next realization which was a difficult one to face. I would not be wearing any of the dresses that I had pictures since I was in my early 20's. None of the styles I had thought might be flattering would fit over my expanding waist. To make matters worse, I had not even been able to exercise or eat healthily (as most brides do) since my morning sickness began in April and the only thing that kept my nausea at bay was eating carbs and sugar. So realistically, I was stuck getting married at my pre-hypothyroid-diagnosis weight with the addition of some added pregnancy bloating. Fun!
My bridesmaids will attest to the hormone laden meltdown I had when I tried on dresses while newly pregnant and realized there were only about 6 styles in the store that would even fit over a pregnant belly. I've always hated empire waists but that's what I was stuck with.
I'll confess that I had a good cry and mourned the cute mermaid or princess style dresses I would never wear. Its complete vanity but it's not easy to accept that you just don't have total control over how you will look on your wedding day.
And then one day, I just embraced it. I am pregnant. I happen to be showing early. And I am also marrying the love of my life. Boo hoo, right? And so I scoured pictures of maternity dresses and dresses with high waists and compiled a list of ideas (top) to present to my dressmaker which would allow me to have a dress that fit over my belly, but still had some unique features. I wanted a dress that felt like ME.
My dressmaker patiently explained which of my ideas would work and which would not. There were conversations about what certain fabrics would and would not do and the fact that there was no way I'd be comfortable in a strapless bra with my massive pregnant boobs. She was honest and I began to actually get excited about my dress.
Then came the fun part: fabric shopping! It was overwhelming in all the best ways but it was great going with an expert who could offer advice on the different fabrics. Thanks to my mom, we left with yards and yards of silk and french lace and I can't wait to show you guys the finished product. Hopefully when I put it on, I will realize that the "wrong" size actually feels right!