I have the best excuse in the world for not blogging in July. Her name is Maude and she has consumed our lives and turned our world upside down this past month. Life with just me, Corey and Rudy had become so routine that I suppose I actually imagined that life with two would feel just as easy and natural.
HA HA HA HA! Obviously, that is not the case and it will take time for us to find our groove as a family of four. So far, we've discovered that "sleep when the baby sleeps" is easy advice to follow with the first but not so easy when there's a toddler who needs to be entertained, bathed, clothed, fed, driven to camp... you get the picture! Not only that, but she needs lots of love and reassurance that she still holds a HUGE place in our lives and hearts. I'll talk more about the things we've been doing to ease the transition in another post but so far, Rudy seems quite proud (when she's not indifferent) of her sister.
With so much to do, it has taken me a little while to find my groove as a new mom again. The newborn stage has never been my favourite and I don't bond as easily with my babies as some moms. Part of this may be due to the fact that I feel hyper-aware of Rudy's feelings and I sort of feel like we've betrayed her a tiny bit by having another baby. Silly, but hormones make you feel funny things. Still, it's hard not to open my heart to my sweet Maude. She looks a lot like her sister but is still entirely her own person!
Already, we can see how alert and interested she is in the world around her. From the day she was born, she was lifting her head and trying to hold herself up with her arms and it looks like she may be just as tough as her sister.
|Photo credit for Rudy's photos: Danielle Perelman Photography
I have lots of posts coming in the next few weeks which will cover the early days, her birth story and (of course) before and after shots of the nursery and the secret room. I'm excited to share what we've been doing now that we're starting to feel whole as a family again.
I'll confess that in the first few days, I felt a bit broken. We weren't sleeping; Maude was crying all the time and keeping us up; Rudy was totally freaked out because I'd been in the hospital so much and my hormones were going crazy. My mom was staying with us (thank goodness) and I told her one night that I loved Maude but we had been so happy as a family of three and I feared I had messed with a good thing and ruined everything. Moms often know best though and mine reassured me that our life would mend itself but it would just be a bigger life than before.
I'm relieved that it's starting to feel like my mom was right. We were shattered for a few weeks but we're putting the pieces back together. Each day seems to get a tiny bit easier and sometimes we are actually able to get something productive accomplished and it makes me feel like myself again. We've managed to have a couple of dinners at family restaurants and I'm starting to see glimpses of our new life with two amazing girls. When that happens, I can see that it is very big and very full. We are lucky.